http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/ In the eyes of the beholder Mon, 09 Aug 2004 09:40:31 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2004. http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/52.html Mon, 09 Aug 2004 17:38:40 GMT I could turn around and tell all of you that I am fine, and you know, I bet most of you would believe me. It's true. I honestly don't know why, but it's true. I tend to be the one person, or one of the few people who say they are alright and get believed about it everytime. Well, can I explain something to all of you? No one can be alright all the time. Life can't possibly work like that. Everyone has good days and everyone has bad days, yes, including myself. I just don't walk around telling everyone about it, because in all honesty I don't find it a lot of people's business to know when I'm... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=52 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/51.html Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:14:04 GMT So, I could sit here and think of all the things I've done wrong and all the ways I could have fixed it all, and in all honesty, that's what I've been doing a lot of lately, but I realize I can't do that anymore. I know that I'm not a bad person. It's just that there are so many things that go wrong that I make myself believe I could have prevented. I know I shouldn't do that, and that I'm being super hard on myself for a lot of things that weren't even my fault or had absolutely nothing to do with me, but I still feel like I could have done something to change most of it though. Now,... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=51 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/50.html Tue, 27 Jul 2004 21:48:24 GMT I figured I would update because I know I haven't in a while, at least not about anything majorly important or detailed. This week has been very complicated...yea that's a good word for it. Jim and I needed to work on a lot more than we thought we did. I suppose we shouldn't have gotten back together while they were on vacation, but that's ok, because we have finally decided to start talking things through. I can finally tell him when I'm truly upset about things, and I don't have to hear that I'm a drama queen, or "I'll call you back" and anticipate a phone call I never receive. It's been... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=50 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/49.html Sun, 25 Jul 2004 12:39:49 GMT "May the future lay at rest" Take a look around you Do you see the things I see I honestly doubt you do If you did, you would see me A pain stricken young girl With very few things to live for Trying to find a place in the world So she can spread her wings and soar She's lost all hope in friends Except for a select few The 6 that'll be there until the end She wants to thank you Leah for always making me smile And never letting me down Toni for going that extra mile To make sure I don't... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=49 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/48.html Sat, 17 Jul 2004 16:59:57 GMT 001. name : Sarah Jane 002. nicknames : sassy 003. sex : Female 004. birthday : September 9th 006. star sign : Virgo (my symbol's the virgin haha) 007. place of birth : Lowell 008. current residence: Dracut 009. hair colour : brown kind of a little black 010. eye color : green 011. height : 5`2 012. writing hand : lefty oh yea i rock ____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS 013. do you bite your nails : sometimes 014. can you roll your tongue : no 016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : i dunno 017. can you blow smoke rings: i tried but they weren't very ring like 018. can... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=48 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/47.html Sat, 17 Jul 2004 13:50:11 GMT It would appear that many people tend to end up or at least tend to start acting like people that come from their past. I was a perfectly respectable girlfriend until he made me think that it wasn't about being there for each other, it was about me being there for him when he needed me. No matter what I was supposed to be on hand to take his phone calls and to fix his problems. If I went out, he wanted to know where and with who. When he didn't know someone I was friends with, he got suspicious, like I was actually going to do something. Unfortunately the way I dealt with that was by doing... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=47 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/46.html Sat, 17 Jul 2004 02:03:27 GMT I never really understood why they called them sleepovers. I mean, in all honesty, how many of you remember going to sleepovers and actually sleeping. Granted now we do, but that's because we actually get to stay out past 9, which is definitely a plus to getting older. Steph stayed over last night. At 5, I went to bed for an hour. I got up at 6:20 and called Jim to ask him if he liked going to the beach, which for most people would be a totally random question, but there was reason behind it. See, Steph's friend, Alex, doesn't like the beach, and I wasn't sure if Jim did or not, so I wanted... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=46 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/45.html Thu, 15 Jul 2004 16:09:40 GMT So I told you guys yesterday that something would probably happen after I finished that entry, and I was right. Leah called me and asked if I wanted to go on some errands with her, and since I hadn't seen her in a while, I agreed. So, she picked me up a little late because her car was smoking and the check engine light was blinking so she needed her brother to look at it. When she picked me up, we headed towards Lawerence to go get Nico. First we stopped at Brooks, so that Leah could drop off her film for 1 hour, but the machine was down. Trying to find it in the place was hard to because all... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=45 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/44.html Wed, 14 Jul 2004 17:02:14 GMT So, Leah's totally been rubbing off on me lately. Not only am I being totally spontaneous at times that you wouldn't expect me to be, but I'm also seeing people I never thought I'd see over the summer. It's amazing how many people work at Hannaford. My sister has been pissing me off lately. She thinks that she's the goddamn queen of the world, kind of like a few other people, who shall remain nameless, just because I don't feel like listening to them bitch to me about this. She's always on my case about everything. If I say one thing to her, she's got to turn it around, and make it so that it... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=44 http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/archive/43.html Mon, 12 Jul 2004 21:57:00 GMT SO I WAS DOING SOME WRITING, AND THIS POEM ACTUALLY ONLY TOOK ME LIKE FOUR MINUTES TO WRITE AND I WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF...SHOCKINGLY! THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN. ANYWAYS, I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU GUYS FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS. 1. IT'S NOT SUICIDAL, WHICH AGAIN, IS PRETTY SHOCKING AND 2. I REALLY LIKED IT SO MAYBE YOU WILL TOO! IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE I KNOW YOU'D BE THERE I'D NEVER THINK YOU'D LIE AND I KNOW YOU'LL ALWAYS CARE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME EXCEEDS ANY AND ALL BOUNDS FOR ALL YOU HAVE MADE ME SEE AND FOR... (more) http://xodreamdivaxo.blogdrive.com/comments?id=43