It would appear that many people tend to end up or at least tend to start acting like people that come from their past. I was a perfectly respectable girlfriend until he made me think that it wasn't about being there for each other, it was about me being there for him when he needed me. No matter what I was supposed to be on hand to take his phone calls and to fix his problems. If I went out, he wanted to know where and with who. When he didn't know someone I was friends with, he got suspicious, like I was actually going to do something. Unfortunately the way I dealt with that was by doing something I really do regret, but that's another matter for another day. Jim isn't anything like that, I do understand that, but I don't really remember how to not be like that. I don't remember how to not talk to someone every single night. Well, actually, I do. I guess it's just a matter of having the will to do it. I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want to feel like I need to call Jim, because I know I don't. I know he knows he can call me, and he does. He called me like every night this week. It amazes me, though. I'm not sure where I started going downhill. I would imagine it was somewhere around last fall when I had that supposed "breakdown" as he referred to it, even though that was no where near the breakdown I had last month. So, basically, me and my mom talked about it and we decided that the only way I'm not going to chase Jim away is by not chasing him at all. I'm not going to call him. I mean that this time. I can't do this anymore, because not only does it piss him off, it pisses me off too because I know I didn't use to be like that. I do, in a lot of ways, wish that I could've seen what it was doing to us earlier because then maybe we wouldn't have broken up in the first place, but I don't know. I guess all things happen for a reason, right?! If anyone has any suggestions as to any other ways I can be less clingy or obsessive or however you want to put it let me know. I could use all the help I can get.

Lying here with you,
Listening to the rain,
Smiling just to see, The smile upon your face,
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need,
Everything you are, Is everything to me,
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist,
These are the moments, I know all I need is this,
I have all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
Yeah right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I've got all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more. . .

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

I could not ask for more than the love you give me,
Cause it's all I've waited for . . .
And I could not ask for more,
I could not ask for more.

<3 Sarah Jane