Entry: For anyone left who cares Wednesday, July 14, 2004



So, Leah's totally been rubbing off on me lately. Not only am I being totally spontaneous at times that you wouldn't expect me to be, but I'm also seeing people I never thought I'd see over the summer. It's amazing how many people work at Hannaford. My sister has been pissing me off lately. She thinks that she's the goddamn queen of the world, kind of like a few other people, who shall remain nameless, just because I don't feel like listening to them bitch to me about this. She's always on my case about everything. If I say one thing to her, she's got to turn it around, and make it so that it seems like I do everything wrong. It's so stupid. oh well! Whatever...I don't care. She's going to be a bitch to me, so I'm going to be a bitch to her, it's that simple.

Yesterday I did a lot of thinking and a lot of writing. You know, when you haven't talked to someone in almost a week, you're supposed to miss them if they're truly your friend, but I don't. I don't miss talking to her because she's so condescending, which is funny, because she's the one who acts most like a little child. It seems everything I do isn't good enough or isn't what everyone else wants me to do. Well, guess what?! I'm sick of living for all of you people. It doesn't make me happy when you say that I shouldn't do the things that I want to do. It doesn't make me happy to have your voice inside my head telling me that what he's doing is wrong, especially since all the stuff he's done wasn't wrong at all. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to listen to your advice, so I'm not going to. No one from now on is allowed to give me advice on any topic concerning my life, unless I ask for it. I don't want your opinions on any matters concerning my relationship with Jim, or with what I should do for college, or anything. If I ask, then sure go ahead, give me all the advice you've got, but there's a few select people I will no longer be seeking advice from because that is how this whole mess started. That was what a lot of my writing yesterday was about. Another thing I wrote about was the fact that I've been highly attached to Jim recently, but we figured all that out, and we're going to be doing a lot better now, especially since I've decided to stop listening to the words of a certain someone.

Jim came over yesterday after he got his senior portraits taken. Oh man! That's a scary thought. I get to go on August 2nd. I have nothing to wear. That's ok, though. It's all good. I'll find something. Anyway, so he came over and we talked for a little while, and just hung out, and he read one of the things I wrote and thought it was majorly good. lol We watched Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. It was pretty good. He was right. After you get past the first 1/2 hour, it does get a lot better. It gets more interesting. It wasn't scary, but some of the characters were kind of creepy looking with all the makeup on and such, and there was an evil wizard who tried to hurt Gandalf, which just isn't cool at all, because Gandalf is like the coolest wizard there is, without a doubt. lol And the fireworks he lights off at Bilbo's party are awesome. There's one that's a dragon and the dragon almost appears to come to life before it explodes into a huge firework. So, then when the movie was over, I made him dinner. Nothing special. We just had hot dogs, but I cooked for him and got his for him, and all that other cute stuff. He's adorable. I love him so much. I brought him home around 10 and it was raining really hard, and he was like "oh...this isn't bad." and me being the superstitious person that I am, I said "Don't say that, it'll get worse and then I'll crash over the Mammoth Road bridge or something" and he told me I couldn't die because he needed me to much. That was wicked sweet. I almost started crying, but I thought it best not to because I was the one driving. lol

Today hasn't been that eventful, but I'm sure something funny or bad or hopefully good will happen so I'll update more later. oh yea! I died my hair black yesterday. It doesn't look totally black. It still just looks really dark brown, but I'm definitely loving it.

~Sarah Jane~

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