001. name : Sarah Jane
002. nicknames : sassy
003. sex : Female
004. birthday : September 9th
006. star sign : Virgo (my symbol's the virgin haha)
007. place of birth : Lowell
008. current residence: Dracut
009. hair colour : brown kind of a little black
010. eye color : green
011. height : 5`2
012. writing hand : lefty oh yea i rock

____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS
013. do you bite your nails : sometimes
014. can you roll your tongue : no
016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : i dunno
017. can you blow smoke rings: i tried but they weren't very ring like
018. can you blow spit bubbles : yup
019. can you cross your eyes: yes
020. colored hair: yea just died it this past week
021. tattoos and where : none yet
022. piercing and where: none right now
023. do you make your bed daily : not really
024.what goes on first bra or underwear : bra
025. which shoe goes on first : left
036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : yup a few times
037. how much money is usually in your wallet? : like 10 bucks
038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : my claddagh ring of course
039. whats sexiest on a guy : eyes and smart
040. whats sexiest on a girl : confidence
041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : on time and look ok
042. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : twirl obviously
043. how many cereals are in your cabinet : one i think
044. what utensils do you use eating pizza : i don't
045. do you cook : i'm learning to

____GROOMiNG
046. how often do you brush your teeth : two times a day sometimes more
047. how often do you shower/bathe : usually once a day
048. how long do these showers last : 15 minutes
049. hair drying method : towel or airdry
050. do you paint your nails : every once in a while
051. do you swear : oh yea especially when i'm mad or upset
052. do you mumble to yourself : yup. all the time
053. do you spit in public : no
054. do you pee in the shower: no
055. whats in your cd player : Britney Spears although that's not usually the case
056. person you talk most on the phone with : either Jim or Leah
057. what color is your bedroom : Green
058. do you use an alarm clock : for school I do
059. name one thing or person you're obsessed with: being perfect
060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : not yet
061. ever sunbathed in the nude: no
062. window seat or aisle : it doesn't matter
063. whats your sleeping position: On my side
064. what kind of bed do you like: a comfy one
065. in hot weather do you use a blanket : not usually
066. do you snore : no
067. do you sleepwalk : i don't think so
068 do you talk in your sleep: sometimes or at least thats what my sister says
069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal : yea the stuffed puppy jim gave me for valentine's day
070. how about the light on : not unless i fall asleep
071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : yea my radio's usually on

____WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU
072. had sex : April...and that's gunna be the answer for a long time
073. were kissed: Tuesday
074. watched bambi: i dunno
075. cried : 20 minutes ago
076. talked on the phone : earlier
077. read a book : couple days ago
078. punched someone : i don't remember

____MUSiC
079. is music important to you : yes very
080. do you sing? : kind of
081. what instruments do you play? i used to play the piano and i play guitar sorta 
082. what do you think of Eminem : talented somewhat very cute tho

___DO YOU LiKE
083. pop music :not really...sometimes i get in the mood for it tho
084. rock music : definitely
085. punk music : sometimes
086. rap music : you can't spell crap without rap
087. hip-Hop/RB : some of it's good
088. country : Martina McBride and Faith Hill
089. jazz : no
090. classical : for ballet class i do
091. new age : not really
092. your words : occasionally when i actually think of something good to say that makes sense, not that that happens very often....that's ok tho

It would appear that many people tend to end up or at least tend to start acting like people that come from their past. I was a perfectly respectable girlfriend until he made me think that it wasn't about being there for each other, it was about me being there for him when he needed me. No matter what I was supposed to be on hand to take his phone calls and to fix his problems. If I went out, he wanted to know where and with who. When he didn't know someone I was friends with, he got suspicious, like I was actually going to do something. Unfortunately the way I dealt with that was by doing something I really do regret, but that's another matter for another day. Jim isn't anything like that, I do understand that, but I don't really remember how to not be like that. I don't remember how to not talk to someone every single night. Well, actually, I do. I guess it's just a matter of having the will to do it. I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want to feel like I need to call Jim, because I know I don't. I know he knows he can call me, and he does. He called me like every night this week. It amazes me, though. I'm not sure where I started going downhill. I would imagine it was somewhere around last fall when I had that supposed "breakdown" as he referred to it, even though that was no where near the breakdown I had last month. So, basically, me and my mom talked about it and we decided that the only way I'm not going to chase Jim away is by not chasing him at all. I'm not going to call him. I mean that this time. I can't do this anymore, because not only does it piss him off, it pisses me off too because I know I didn't use to be like that. I do, in a lot of ways, wish that I could've seen what it was doing to us earlier because then maybe we wouldn't have broken up in the first place, but I don't know. I guess all things happen for a reason, right?! If anyone has any suggestions as to any other ways I can be less clingy or obsessive or however you want to put it let me know. I could use all the help I can get.

Lying here with you,
Listening to the rain,
Smiling just to see, The smile upon your face,
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need,
Everything you are, Is everything to me,
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist,
These are the moments, I know all I need is this,
I have all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
Yeah right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I've got all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more. . .

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

I could not ask for more than the love you give me,
Cause it's all I've waited for . . .
And I could not ask for more,
I could not ask for more.

<3 Sarah Jane

So, Leah's totally been rubbing off on me lately. Not only am I being totally spontaneous at times that you wouldn't expect me to be, but I'm also seeing people I never thought I'd see over the summer. It's amazing how many people work at Hannaford. My sister has been pissing me off lately. She thinks that she's the goddamn queen of the world, kind of like a few other people, who shall remain nameless, just because I don't feel like listening to them bitch to me about this. She's always on my case about everything. If I say one thing to her, she's got to turn it around, and make it so that it seems like I do everything wrong. It's so stupid. oh well! Whatever...I don't care. She's going to be a bitch to me, so I'm going to be a bitch to her, it's that simple.

Yesterday I did a lot of thinking and a lot of writing. You know, when you haven't talked to someone in almost a week, you're supposed to miss them if they're truly your friend, but I don't. I don't miss talking to her because she's so condescending, which is funny, because she's the one who acts most like a little child. It seems everything I do isn't good enough or isn't what everyone else wants me to do. Well, guess what?! I'm sick of living for all of you people. It doesn't make me happy when you say that I shouldn't do the things that I want to do. It doesn't make me happy to have your voice inside my head telling me that what he's doing is wrong, especially since all the stuff he's done wasn't wrong at all. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to listen to your advice, so I'm not going to. No one from now on is allowed to give me advice on any topic concerning my life, unless I ask for it. I don't want your opinions on any matters concerning my relationship with Jim, or with what I should do for college, or anything. If I ask, then sure go ahead, give me all the advice you've got, but there's a few select people I will no longer be seeking advice from because that is how this whole mess started. That was what a lot of my writing yesterday was about. Another thing I wrote about was the fact that I've been highly attached to Jim recently, but we figured all that out, and we're going to be doing a lot better now, especially since I've decided to stop listening to the words of a certain someone.

Jim came over yesterday after he got his senior portraits taken. Oh man! That's a scary thought. I get to go on August 2nd. I have nothing to wear. That's ok, though. It's all good. I'll find something. Anyway, so he came over and we talked for a little while, and just hung out, and he read one of the things I wrote and thought it was majorly good. lol We watched Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. It was pretty good. He was right. After you get past the first 1/2 hour, it does get a lot better. It gets more interesting. It wasn't scary, but some of the characters were kind of creepy looking with all the makeup on and such, and there was an evil wizard who tried to hurt Gandalf, which just isn't cool at all, because Gandalf is like the coolest wizard there is, without a doubt. lol And the fireworks he lights off at Bilbo's party are awesome. There's one that's a dragon and the dragon almost appears to come to life before it explodes into a huge firework. So, then when the movie was over, I made him dinner. Nothing special. We just had hot dogs, but I cooked for him and got his for him, and all that other cute stuff. He's adorable. I love him so much. I brought him home around 10 and it was raining really hard, and he was like "oh...this isn't bad." and me being the superstitious person that I am, I said "Don't say that, it'll get worse and then I'll crash over the Mammoth Road bridge or something" and he told me I couldn't die because he needed me to much. That was wicked sweet. I almost started crying, but I thought it best not to because I was the one driving. lol

Today hasn't been that eventful, but I'm sure something funny or bad or hopefully good will happen so I'll update more later. oh yea! I died my hair black yesterday. It doesn't look totally black. It still just looks really dark brown, but I'm definitely loving it.

~Sarah Jane~